Currently, it is 12:25 AM on a Friday. It’s Mardi Gras week, so everyone (myself included) is making plans for the weekend.
Earlier today, I had a pretty rough conversation with my mom over the phone. I told her that I wasn’t into cello anymore. Like many Asian students, I started the piano at a very young age of 3 and then switched over to the cello in 5th grade. For some time, I played to impress my mom and because I was pretty good at it, and then came a time when I actually enjoyed the cello. But in college, as cliché as it is, I wanted to do something that wasn’t very “me.”
Like high school, I joined the WashU orchestra and volunteered at a music program that taught underprivileged children how to play cello. Don’t get me wrong, I am/will be forever grateful the cello and the opportunities that came along with it, but I’ve gotten so complacent with the cello that it’s just not interesting to me. I am definitely not a great player, but I didn’t have any motivation to want to advance my cello career. So, I told my mom that I wanted to quit. Being in college, I should have been able to make a decision like this on my own, but I’ve invested so much money and time into the cello that I didn’t feel ready to part ways.
Cello has always been my backbone. Most of my high school extracurriculars circulated around the cello. I knew that if I were to get rejected from an organization, I would have music to go back to. However, distancing myself from cello, I would be completely alone with no backup plan. My mom was really supportive and said that I had done enough with the cello to want to try other things. With that, this semester will be my last semester playing the cello.
I talk about quitting the cello, because that’s what incited me to start a blog. I had written a few blogs in high school for a web design class but never felt like they really reflected who I am. Now that I’m in college and taking classes that are really interesting to me and getting more involved in organizations that I am passionate about, I am learning more about myself. Starting an official blog is completely different than what I had planned on doing ever and releasing myself to be critiqued by the public is scary; I’ve never really been exposed to vulnerability. My social media sites are always precisely constructed, only putting my best work forward.
I am in no way a great writer. Heck, I didn’t even enjoy writing until I came to college. The immediate gratification that followed my completion of an essay, whether it be good or bad, become so addicting that I wanted to pursue writing even further. So, here I am. I am 19 years old, originally from Seoul, South Korea, moved to Alabama when I was 5, and now live in Atlanta. I attend WashU in St. Louis and am majoring in marketing and econ and strat with a minor in writing. I have a high affinity for avocados, love brushing my teeth (always carry a toothbrush wherever I go), and have little interest in pop culture and would instead jam out to Tchaikovsky.
This is my first blog. I intend on writing every day; this is a promise I want to keep. It’s late. It is now 1:12 AM. The words on the screen are starting to jumble together. Hell, I’m not even going to read this before publishing, so I’m sure I have misspelled words and incorrect punctuation. Whatever. I’m not striving for perfection anyway.