I know it’s just my first year of college, but I have already discovered so many things about. Not all good, but not all bad. Here are 6 goals that I will strive for in the coming year.
- Be more introspective.
This is something I have been working on. I realize that my thoughts and interests are unreflecting and even a bit shallow. I spend so much time distracting myself with these interests that I haven’t distributed enough time and energy to dive into my reasonings for my actions. The “why.” Like, why do I strive for perfection? Yes, because I want to be the best person I can be, but why? Yes, I want to do well for my parents and make them proud, but why? The why’s and the why not’s are what I want to discover.
I turn to media, like Youtube videos and Netflix, to distract myself, but I am eliminating these to some degree, so I can become more in-tune with who I am.
2. Be more cognizant of my actions onto others.
Not an excuse but a somewhat valid testament: As an only child, I have been used to things going my way. My ability to be accommodating is limited and something I am aware of. Sometimes, my actions onto others are reflective of someone I am not and someone I am trying to move away from.
While my words and actions may have the right intentions, they may not be perceived the right way, especially if the person on the other end has had a bad day. I shouldn’t be so tactless.
3. Stop micro-analyzing every negative experience.
During interviews, the most commonly asked question is “What is your biggest flaw?” Mine is my inability to move past my negative experiences. Jason always tells me that humans focus on negativity as an instinct of survival, because it helps us understand how to be a better person next time. But it’s such an unhealthy mentality.
There are so many positive and good things throughout the day that are worth more of my time. Focusing on negativity takes away from my ability to enjoy things to their fullest potential, and that’s not okay. Everyone has low-points, but we have an equivalent supply of high-points to counterbalance.
4. Be more genuine.
I don’t think I’m a disingenuous person. But I think everyone carries some sort of superficiality. Like, when we ask people, “Oh hey, _________! How are you?” Do we actually care about the answer to this ambiguous question? It’s not as if people give a thoughtful answer to the question. Most just say “Good, how are you?” and move on. We don’t dwell on these answers, because they are asked and answered with a grain of salt.
I am a really emotional person, so I care a lot about people, especially those who mean a lot to me. But I want to find a fine balance between understanding skin-level things and being genuinely involved in the person. Does that make sense?
5. Be more transparent about what I want.
In college, I am my own person. I don’t live under the umbrella of my parent’s rules, and I live far enough away to where I don’t feel the pressures of their expectations. My thoughts and my feelings are my own, derived from the reciprocation of different people and situations.
With that said, I am often pushed around, because I find myself lacking the right voice to speak up for my opinions. I am strong but not confident in myself. I am smart but don’t believe it. There will always be someone smarter than me, but it doesn’t matter. My opinions and beliefs are just as important, so I should be more transparent about them.
6. Write more often.
This is my last goal. I write everyday, but I want to write more. Write about things that inspire me or are an interesting topic. About frivolous or irrelevant things. About mercurial beings and lasting scenarios.
I want to be a better storyteller.