I’ve been thinking. Originally, I wanted a blog where I could do something revolutionary. Interview people on their comfort/soul foods. Get people’s stories out there. And I still want to do this, but I realize now that that desire was fueled by my wanting to get more views on my blog. And it’s only been a few months since I’ve started my blog, but I realize that I want to write the blog for me and not for anyone else.
There’s this really smart, intelligent kid at my school. Granted, WashU is filled with smart people, but this person really stood out to me as someone I wanted to become. I wanted to emulate everything this kid did. So, I applied for an internship my second semester at a startup, I started writing this blog, I started to look more seriously into computer science.
I thought that by recreating his interests and molding them into mine, I would eventually find out what I wanted to do. And if not, his interests were interesting enough to where I would enjoy them.
I don’t know. I’m still not sure if my pursuits are really my own or if I’m following someone else’s path. No one is telling me what to do, but it’s always been in my nature to investigate those around me and forage for things that might be useful for me. But are they actually beneficial for me, but am I interpreting them as things that I feel like I need to do in order to compensate for everything that I want to be but am not?
So, I’m going to take this blog in a different direction. Still interview people. But maybe use it as a place to journal my thoughts, write down my introspective analyses on people and myself.