Off Again

I turn in my last paper for freshman year and with that, I am now a sophomore. 

I can’t tell if I feel relieved or if I dread the completion of my first year at WashU. Obviously, I’m happy my tests are all done and my papers submitted, but I can’t help but feel a little empty.

This whole semester has been a mix of many, many emotions. I dealt with a breakup, new friends and disconnections with old friends, tests, essays, a job, a bunch of extracurriculars. I’ve never been one to be complacent, which is why I took upon so many activities, but I felt so drained by the end of the semester. Not really brain dead, although that was definitely real, but more in terms of emotions.

I’m sad that I didn’t get to meet really cool people much earlier. Two seniors I had met in my food journalism class offered more advice in the short two months I had known them than the past two years. I became more introspective, dealing with feelings of isolation and inundated with stress. I was away from home, missing my parents whom I am very close with.

When looking at it, my first year at WashU was not perfect. My grades are okay, my social life is mediocre. I have uncovered so many discrepancies within WashU that have stirred up my distaste for the school and the administration. But in retrospect, it could have been worse. I could have shitty grades and no social life. I should be lucky for what I have, but I can’t help but feel that my WashU is lacking so much.

I know other students have expressed similar concerns. We are not able to separate the issues surrounding WashU with our experience here, thus hindering our ability to enjoy the school to its full potential.

I don’t know what I could’ve done differently. It’s just unfortunate I, and others, feel this way.

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